Updated: Feb 12
My Dad is one of those people that you can't help but love. He is happy, funny and always jovial. Romeo is a cross between a laughing buddha and a boxer. At 82 years old he continues to be charming and one of my greatest teachers.
His sister died a couple of years ago and I luckily was able to fly across this big country to be a part of her celebration of life. I walked into the church and I saw my Dad sitting on his "rollator" (walker). I walked up to him and gave him a big hug. His face was wet with tears, dripping from his cheeks onto his blue shirt, darkening his belly with salty drops of grief. "Dad would you like a tissue?" "Nope, I like to feel the tears on my face." He had a tender smile that spread across his quivering lips as he took a big sigh. As my Dad ages, he cries a lot now. It's beautiful and sweet. The grief of the loss of his last sibling unlocked the grief of the loss of so many people in his life. Someone told me once that grief is love that can't be expressed to the person that is gone. My Dad expresses fully and without apology now. He feels deeply and no longer holds back. He adores my mother and speaks about how grateful he is for her. His joy brings tears too. That was never how he was when I was young. I never saw my Dad cry when I was growing up. We would always make jokes to cover up the sadness or joy for that matter. Humour was everyone's way of dealing with life. Having big emotions is something that's not valued in our society. Every day, I work with big emotions with my clients when we are dealing with money. I truly think it would be a good lesson to let yourself feel the tears on your face. Allow them to fall freely. When you are lying down and crying, your tears can fall and pool into your ears. Maybe that is why our ears are shaped that way. Ear Tear Catchers. What if laughing really hard until you cry is easier to do if you can swing into the crying in sadness until you laugh. I love that feeling when you are crying from sadness and it swings into laughter. Talk about wringing yourself clean. Working with money has taught me how connected everything is. We are all connected. The joy and sadness are intermingled.