The Unworthiness Inheritance - Layers You Can't See

 I untangle women from limiting beliefs for a living. Hundreds of them, over twenty years.

My own, I couldn't see. Not for the longest time.

That's the trick with layered beliefs. One sits right on top of another. A pyramid scheme of judgment. A whole multi-level marketing system, and you never actually see what's at the top. You just keep paying into the belief in front of you.

It takes real presence to catch it.

Honestly, it took me years to catch mine. Here's how it went.

For a long time, I thought my main limiting belief was "I don't matter."

Not being seen or important enough to be paid attention to. I could see that one. I sat with it, traced it back, worked through it the way I work it with clients. Loving that inner child and catching when it when it arose. Genuinely. For years.

But underneath all of that work was something I still couldn't see.

"I'm a piece of shit."

That's the one almost every woman I sit across from names within the first few sessions. Of course, it shows up differently for different people. 'I am worthless, I don't deserve it.' And for years I didn't think I had that one. I searched myself for it and it never quite fit, so I figured I was one of the lucky ones. Skipped that one.

But I was just standing underneath it the whole time.

The Trap On Top Of The Trap

Any time something in me flickered toward "maybe there's something wrong with me," underneath the "I don't matter" work, a second voice corrected it fast. That's not what this is. So I'd stop at the belief with another belief "It's wrong to believe you are bad." I didn't see it as a limitation to believe it is wrong to believe you are a piece of shit.

Round and round. The covert belief of "I'm a piece of shit." I rarely let it get any air time because I was too busy standing on the belief that it is wrong to believe that.

I sat with focused presence and it surfaced

But something just was sticking me. The flow and ease with money and love wouldn't come. I was stuck.

I was intensely present and aware of the belief that "I don't matter." And I did the work to heal that little girl.

I sat down and got present. Then. The belief "I'm a piece of shit" finally surfaced.

I sat with it. And the truth that came with it was immediate.

Source has never made a single thing that isn't light. God, spirit, whatever word lands for you, has never once created something that isn't love. So it never created a piece of shit. Not one. Not ever. Not me.

That lightened the belief, and I felt immediate relief.

My ego had created this belief because I wanted to belong and everyone around me believed they were a piece of shit so I had to as well, so that I would not be alone. The insight with this was powerful.

But… it still felt heavy.

With persistent focus and presence I sat with the heaviness and asked what else is here. Right behind it, the second belief showed up. The one that had actually been running the show.

It's wrong to believe that about yourself.

And the truth that I couldn't see at first, was super simple. There's nothing wrong with believing that you are bad.

My ego had built a whole protection system around that belief. Because if I let myself actually believe I wasn't good, I wouldn't be alone in it. So many people carry that exact belief. But somewhere in me, being allowed to feel that wasn't allowed either. It kept me in the loop. And I could never truly heal it. That was the security deposit my ego created to protect me. Thanks ego, but I got this now. 

The Unworthiness Inheritance

This is the pattern I call the Unworthiness Inheritance. One of five patterns, I've watched get passed down mother to daughter, generation to generation, and it rarely shows up as a single sentence. Mine came in three layers. I don't matter was the one I could see and name, so I did real work there for years. I'm a piece of shit was the one underneath it. The common one. The one I told myself I didn't have. Then it is wrong to believe that you are bad.

Money is usually where I find this first with a client, and where I found it first in myself. The undercharging. The failure to thrive. The rate you talk yourself down from before anyone else even negotiates. Money is concrete, so the belief gets caught there before it gets caught anywhere else. But it was never really about the money. Money is just the conduit for your beliefs. What's actually on the other side of it can be total flow and abundance.

The Role I Built Out Of It

I built a whole career out of avoiding this.

I became a teacher. A healer. Someone who makes people feel deeply attended to, seen, important. That has been my calling, it's why I'm good at it.

But part of it was also this: if I was the one always giving people the feeling of mattering, I never had to look deeper and find out what was under my own belief that I didn't matter. Or if I was giving people the support to see how worthy they actually are, I could not see how unworthy I was feeling.

On The Other Side

When I pulled all these layers out and looked at them directly, they stopped having a grip on me.

It was the truth, the love and light I could access to clear away the heaviness. I stopped shaming myself for believing I wasn't good. That was the whole distraction. I started loving the part of me that thought it was wrong to believe that.

You don't win that argument. You stop having it.

And now, when I look at the energies that are stuck it is easy.

It's not a technique.

It's not something I have to cultivate every morning.

My goodness, my mattering, all of it, is just there. Already true. The same way it always was.

That's what's on the other side. Sometimes when things just don't clear and you still feel limited in your wealth, ease, joy and peace, it could be because you and your dear ego have created a dynamic protection system of multilayered limiting belief that can keep you trapped.

It is not hard to uncover them when you know how.

Let me know if you feel trapped and let's see what we can do to unhook you from these beliefs.

Get Your Gratitude On is the free meditation that helped me find the stillness to do this work. www.brendastlouis.com/Get_Your_Gratitude_On

And if you're ready to actually unhook what's running underneath, book a Discovery Call and let's find yours. www.brendastlouis.com/discovery-call

With love,

Brenda